Tuesday, January 27, 2009


HAPPINESS – A BIG DEAL

(Okay now before you start reading this page I would like to mention that the following article is just my view on how one can achieve true happiness.)

Everyone on this earth is dying to find true happiness that will stay with them forever.


So Is happiness really a big deal?


Many say even if you are a millionaire you cannot be happy ...is it true?But then someone said this statement is obviously given by people who are actually not rich.......ha-ha....it might be true!!

No, but I m quite sure even millionaires spend sleepless nights worried/tensed.May be they have a luxurious orthopedic bed but they cannot find sleep.And this may remind you how truth is there in the saying “money can buy you everything but not happiness"

Money can give you a job, but not accomplishment.
Money can buy you a house, but not a home.
Money can buy you a Medicine, but not health.
Money can buy you a ring, but not love.
Money can buy you a book, but not a story.
Money can buy you an education, but not knowledge.
Money can buy you Clothes, but not beauty.
Money can buy you a piano, but not a song.
Money can buy you a Paper ,pencil/colors, but not words,creativity.
Money can buy you a bed, but not sleep.
Money can buy you a Food, but not a meal.
Money can buy you a window, but not a view.

Or in Daniel Olsson words "Money is the car, but not the driver."


We know happiness is most important thing in life.
Now we get to the question "where can we find happiness"??

Before I answer that I would like to ask you ...............are you satisfied with your life??????

I know very few would say "YES" but a majority of people would say "NO”. There can be loads of reasons. Some are not happy with their boss and some with their ersonal life.
Some would say I always wanted to be a doctor but ended up as a trainer. Some say my kids are not as good as I wanted them to be. Some say I hate my spouse.
And loads of more "some says"......
So I think everyone on this earth has some or the other problem.
Now again before answering the main question...can you answer yourself why are you not satisfied???

I have got an answer for this. Personally I think we are not satisfied with ourselves just because we expect too much from our lives.And when we don’t meet our expectations we call it a "big problem". Desires are the main cause of unhappiness.No I don’t say stop expecting from life. Dreams are very important to us and we live because we dream.
But we should not indulge ourselves too much in those dreams or desires. It is really good in case we achieve what we wanted. But if we don’t then we should not keep holding on to the same dream thinking “why it happened to me”, or “why I am so unlucky”.....or "God why me??"...

We should not compare ourselves with others. God made us all in a very unique way and we all are different from others in one way or other. We all are good at something. If I can paint may be you are an excellent singer or dancer, the only thing is ... we don’t realize what we are good at.

So don’t expect way too much from life. A student gets unhappy when he doesn’t get into a prestigious college ,a father when he's son does not perform, a husband when his wife does not work according to his wish....so on...the list is endless.
So it clear that.....We are unhappy when our wishes or expectations are not met.We want the world to work according to our whims and fancies.We often forget the fact that even we do not meet up to people's expectations....but we don’t stop expecting things from others.

I strongly believe that expectations wishes and dreams should not be confused with aim/ambition.If a student is reading this just don’t stop studying and leave everything on cards.
As I already mentioned we should not indulge ourselves too much with our expectations.
for instance if a student wishes to get good scores he should start studying instead of dreaming if I get good score I’ll bag myself a good college.

This explains the difference between dreams and ambition. The student's ambition is to get a good college and his expectation is to get good marks. But if he does not study he won’t get good marks and will blame his luck or whatever. Ultimately according to him he did not meet his expectation and he's unhappy.Final result either he is depressed or commits suicide.But that's not the way to live life.

Always remember whatever happens, happens for a good cause.....

Like once a friend of mine told me this :
A child asked his mother for an ice cream in a cold weather but the mother refused. What do you think was it fair for both of them?
Definitely you will answer:
From the child's point of view it was unfair because he did not get his ice cream and from mother's point of view it was fair because probably he would get cold having that ice cream in the cold weather.

you are right!!!!!
Yes this might be the two most probable reasons. Now you answered this because you could clearly see both the sides (mother as well as child's point of view).
In real life ‘we’ play the child and ‘God’ plays the mother's role. We only see the child's point of view that he did not get what he wished for and cry but we forget the mother's view.
Now imagine if the child gets stubborn and eats the ice cream. Again two possibilities he may get cold or he does fine. If he gets cold his mother won’t throw him out.
She’ll take care of him; give him proper medicines so that he's perfectly alright again. And if he's not sick his mother still stays by his side to ensure that he always remains fine
So what we understand by this is: even if we are not up to the expectations we should not cry/get depressed, because God makes a new opportunity knock the door. And if you achieve what you wished he doesn’t leave you alone but he stays with you to ensure you remain happy.

Give it your best shot for every opportunity in life. So you don’t regret later.

By now I hope you got the answer of where to find happiness!!!?

True Happiness lies within you.

You don’t have to find it anywhere. You only can make yourself happy and nothing or no one can.


Sometimes people compare themselves with others and are unhappy. This is another important reason why people are unhappy nowadays.
Why do you compare yourself with others?
God made every person with one or the other good quality ....as I said before we all are good. It only depends on us how we project ourselves. And every person is assigned with a particular role which someone else may not do as perfectly as he does.
So there's no point comparing with others. Comparing that he earns so much money or he's got a Mercedes will only make you unhappy that I don’t have it.
We should try finding happiness in others happiness. Happiness is in your hands.

You must be thinking I can make myself happy by buying things and goodies.
Desires can never be fulfilled. Like today you get yourself a new dress and you are happy tomorrow the fashion changes you throw that very same dress which made you happy once and you get a new dress.
Now that new dress is your mode of happiness. Now I imagine you were not able to buy the new dress which is according to the new fashion .......so you are sad.
The old dress is now the main object of sadness. Yes, the same dress that gave you happiness once is now the reason of your sadness.
So now do you think any material or object can make you happy.....NO NEVER! Desires change with time. And desires keep on growing and you can never satisfy yourself.
Well.....do I need to give an example to show that no person can give you happiness? He has his own way of thinking his own perspective and will never work according to your whims and fancies. Ultimately when he doesn’t listen to you, you are sad.

In short I can state that nothing....no object or no one can give you happiness.
You only can make yourself happy. No not by buying new dresses not by traveling parts of the world but by doing the work that god has assigned to you with true dedication. You can fool anyone but not yourself. So don’t just show to others that you are working, it will never help.
One more thing I can say by practicing few qualities like forgiveness and modesty, i am sure you will be happy. Always remember Anger is just one letter less to D-anger.
So always stay cheerful and happy.

In case you still find stresses harass you and you are not happy.....go for meditation. Meditation is not doing yoga or anything like that but finding your inner self.
Meditation is the search of "you". It means to find oneself, to have absolutely zero thoughts in mind by just concentrating in anything deeply.
No I don’t mean concentrate how cute you look from outside but to find answer to few questions like:
Who am I???
Why did I come on this earth?
Why stops me to be a better person???
Am I satisfied with what I have??
What do I need in life???
And many more questions will arise automatically in your mind......as you meditate.


okay...okay......I know its very difficult to do because I am sure if you are meditating for the first time your mind may not be stable.
And you won’t be able to concentrate on the questions....
So a better way I can suggest is to ask one question daily to you…. “How many people I made happy today"???
You know the answer better than anyone.

If you still find difficulty , light a candle. Place it at a safe location in front of you. And then switch off the room's light. And finally concentrate on the flames for about half an hour.

Our mind is full of thoughts good and bad . Good thoughts are the positive one and bad are the negative thoughts. No you are absolutely normal it happens with everyone.
But when you meditate you get a stable mind and you start knowing your true self.....and you get the true happiness.
Mediation is one of the easiest way to happiness. It will help you reduce stress and gain self confidence and you will shine in every field.
Once you know your inner self.....the true you, you will never compare yourself with anyone, you will never indulge in desires of life, you will be truly happy!


So my friends.........
Happiness is not a big deal. Happiness lies in yourself and it is actually being true you.


End Note-

I am not sure how much this blog will work for you. I know there are lots of mistakes and it will be really nice if you leave a comment/compliment. In case you want to share your thoughts or any story from your life I’ll be really happy to know the same.
Just email to me whatever comes to your mind I’ll post it here (taking prior permission from you) in a new column with your name if you wish to.
Forgive me for my spell errors or any other language errors.

To know more about me or you for any query you can mail me at:

ghosh.reema@gmail.com

I wish your search is over.......

Stay cheerful
Be happy always.
Reema

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

God....Almighty......Allah.....Bhagwan....Ishwar.....the supreme power...he has many names ...but have you ever seen him?...or felt his presence?

This is a very basic question in everyone's life whether we should believe in God or not.Some say don't see him so we should not believe him,and we only believe what we can see or feel.Just for instance air ..we don't see it but definitely we feel it.We can easily differentiate between the hot air what we call as "loo" and also in the cold breeze during winters just by feeling it.God in the same way is just like the cold breeze or the loo but the only difference is that God himself is the creator of the wind!
Many people believe by meditating we can feel his presence.and its very true.When you have absolutely no thoughts in your mind and your mind is free of any thought you can see/feel the driver of your soul.

Feed the hamster! Click and Go nuts!