Book Review || The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes

A good read.

It's a ride on the relationship tracks traveling one's entire life, first seen through the adolescent eyes, then married and finally with weak old eyes which frames a blurry picture (when it's hard to walk again on the memory lanes). The storyline runs parallel with philosophy and mild humour. I loved the ending.

    Barnes puts the adolescence part first which makes the story appear as another "catcher in the rye" type story but he slowly unfolds it into a deeper storyline.

It's a short and crisp read. The book has some good quotes which fits everyone’s life.

The adolescence described in the first part is worth mentioning, “eager-to-learn as well as ready-to-deny-with-absurd-reasoning” attitude followed by arrogance.  
I quite agree with Margaret’s version of “two kinds of women” but then I also second tony, it doesn’t matter to men.
The “sixities” mentioned in the book were probably the “later nineties” in India. The present stage of youngsters playing with mobile phones, emails and FB etc makes me sad inside and in retrospect somehow I feel happy that I liked playing out with “real” friends rather than having a match onscreen in real-time with my “virtual” friends.
“How times Change!” ..This contrast is wonderfully shown in the book.

Most of us react the way Tony does and even perhaps get with it. I mean how often does one gets a letter/mail from the ex-bf/gf's parent(s) saying you are left with $500 by “will” which ultimately makes you re-think the past relationship you were in. I wonder, do people in old age regret about everything they said, did in past (without any such reminders like “will” etc)? isn't it sad?

Don't we sometimes over think a situation forming conclusions, images on our own? Interpretations are so different from the reality.

Our actions/words today will decide whether we regret the “today” as our “past” then. Relationships sometimes workout and at times don't, but should be remember the bad times forgetting all the good times when we actually enjoyed each other's company? Isn't it unfair?

And we incidentally forget as we continue blaming the "ex" for all the cr*ps in life, that he was "my own" choice to begin with!

Also, words that slip during those fights often end up twisting the situation into one of those knots that takes nothing less than a blade or scissors. Anger is one letter short of danger.

P.S : I often do this, when i am angry with my friend i write a mail with all kinds of incentives and put it in my drafts... I NEVER send them. It takes the anger out of me and gives me hard "laughs" as i go through it after few days and see the insanity in me before finally deleting it. Plus, It saves me the embarrassment of facing my own words through his mouth.

The Simple World

When i was little, everyone around me acted as if the world was the most excited place to be. They were so very excited to show me how the moon, the chapatti, the cycle tyre, the coin and of course our earth itself is round in shape. Everything was happy, colourful and/or was magical. Fountains were beautiful, birds were sweet, trees were shady and the butterflies were lovely. Smiles surrounded us, and people respected each other. But with time, as I grew up, I entered a different world: the dirty one, a world full of strange feelings, jealousy, fear, hatred, hypocrites and a little love. So, for a long time I have been wondering why people hate others. What made all that sweetness and happiness vanish? Where did that smiley world disappear?   Why do people taunt or belittle? I never found the correct answers. I have been taunted a lot of times, i never mind, but i fail to understand what they possibly gain by passing such derogatory remarks. One of my friends once said me, "just make some peace and Say it!" Here "it" refers to the cursive expletives or the "swear" words. But, how can saying "bad" things give someone peace? Bad words and peace don't sound analogical to me.

What i found is words can be as beautiful and harmless as they can be, but the tone adds the real sense. For instance, "So, finally u came? What took you so long?" is spoken by a lady in a worried tone. And imagine the same sentence said in a husky interrogative manner. The essence of the words changes automatically. First shows care and sympathy while the second reflects doubt and jealousy. Harsh tones add hatred to the words apart from its meanings. Bad words sound worse and good words are spoiled by the rough tone. Often people try to disparage others in order to get some self-respect or help their personal worth. But, how will anyone gain respect by not respecting another person? The grown-up’s world is surely hard to understand.

The other day, I had to take an auto. After traveling a short distance the meter flashed “40”. I thought there was something wrong with the meter but I gave the auto driver the benefit of the doubt. I paid him a 100 rupee note and told him to give me change as I didn’t have any. He said “I’ve change, wait”. But within seconds after I stepped out of the auto, he drove away without paying me back. First, I was upset about the 60 he didn’t pay but then I thought why did he do it? Was he in need of money? If he’d have asked for it, I would have given him the 100 anyway. He obviously can’t spend the next 30 years with those 100bucks. What if some passenger catches him someday? People are deceitful. Soon after, I boarded a bus. I sat next to an old gentleman. He gave a 500rupee note and asked for his ticket. The ticket cost 50, the conductor returned him 400 and said he didn’t have the remaining 50. The old gentleman smiled and said, “Chai-paani samajh k rakh lo, beta” . In contrast to what I saw earlier, I found love and smile still have some power.

This made me realize that the world we live in is still simple. What has made the world more tangled and perplexed is the urge of some people to make their life simpler at the expense of others’. They want to maintain that simplicity and in doing so, they cross every extent even if their actions make others' difficult and complicated. Some realize it, yet continue to do so while some unknowingly hurt others. I am not perfect either, there's a possibility that i may have come under the second category a few times. But we must make it a point that we should never fall under the first category. If you don't believe in the karma-crap, remember, "What goes around will come back around". Your actions should make life simpler for you as well as for others. Even if you can’t make your own life simpler, do try to make others’. It’ll somehow come back to you only.

Feed your Soul, MEDITATE

Lately, with routine meditation, I've realized how much the "difficult times" are important in our lives. If we don't have sadness, we'll never pray. Sadness makes us realize life is not perfect, and neither can it be perfected by us. There's always some bigger power working silently, behind everything happening to us. It's mysterious in its own way. Call it God or Call it fate, it's up to you. So, every time we don't get what we want, we pray. Last time i was contemplating i realized, how very few people pray to God asking for forgiveness without actually committing any sin, another small number pray to him thanking him for what he has given even though the person praying doesn't even get one meal a day, and a very few pray to him because they believe he's the only TRUTH. With meditation you'll realize so many things, reason for your existence, why you laugh, why you cry, and the “virtual essence” of the real world. And with time you'll reach a stage when you will be able to see things/happenings superficially, and not get affected by the sadness/happiness factor attached to it. No, I'm not talking about death. It's experienced only if you trust, have faith in him. Advanced stages may also help you realize the hidden potentials in you, like some write poetry, draw sketches, make music etc after meditating. Meditation will straighten up the tangled thoughts.

Meditation is not the path to god, it is God. Meditation is like the food for your soul. A beautiful exemplary would be a baby, he laughs and smiles a lot although we all know he doesn’t understand a thing, neither  does he speak. Practically, he has no thoughts, yet is happy. He thoroughly enjoys the purity. But as he grows, he is made to realize "his" parents, "his" room, "his" toys; this possessiveness eventually kills the innocence. We all were babies once, with time we forget the "Speechlessness" we enjoyed in our baby-hood. Our soul cries for that silence, thoughtlessness, emptiness. Meditation helps us rejuvenate our souls and we are filled with energy. I'll talk about ways to meditate in some other post, as for now, if you really want to try meditation as a beginner, lie straight on the bed or sit in the most relaxed position and SEE the thoughts in your mind. Act as a monitor, watching and minding the thoughts. You'll be surprised to discern that how if even for 1second you stop noticing your mind, the mind starts to coagulate thoughts again. You can sit for 10-20 minutes daily in the beginning and keep augmenting the time, with time.

An year after .. .The legend Departed ..

Maqbool Fida husain born on “17^th September 1915” was an iconoclast who found the brushes to be better swords than pen or the real swords. Known as the Picasso of India, his imagination, depiction and choice of colors were impeccable. M F Husain was a brand name in the world of art, and he’ll always remain so. Some of his accolades include Padma Shri (1955),Padma Bhushan (1973) and Padma Vibhushan (1991). Although he had been the victim of several controversies which includes accusations from the shiv sena party and various other hindu samities for his depiction of hindu god and goddess in their nude forms, his movie “Meenaxi: A Tale of Three Cities” was removed from the silver screens within two days, as one of the songs played in the movie had lines from the Holy Quran which was set for the central character of the film, played by Tabu. Not only this, but also one of his painting which he did for “India Todays” a popular magazine, titled “Art for Kashmir ” in which he presented Mother India as a nude woman and her body parts as the states was protested by various organizations. Husain apologized for the same. Though the painting was denigrated yet it was sold for Rs. 80 lakhs. Ultimately as a verdict several protests were held against him throughout the country and he was forced to leave the country. Art is a global language, though India couldn’t vindicate Husain’s paintings, he was welcomed by Dubai, where he took his new citizenship and became a Qatari national. Despite of all this, Husain never blamed his origin instead he always mentioned he missed his motherland in several interviews. It is a shame for the whole nation that he died an expatriate.  It is such a pity to see people who don’t even understand art, stand against it and display meaningless aggression. Apparently India is getting famous for creating a mess out of nothing. Though the paintings might have hurt religious sentiments to some level but apparently people failed to understand their real value. These protests questioned the right to expression, right to creativity and innovation. I wish India was more supportive to artists, musicians, poets and dancers. Husain was a prolific artist and his cubist style was very popular. My dream of meeting him(ever) was buried with his burial on June 9^th 2011. He died in exile. India lost more than “just” an artist; India lost an “identity”.  One of the most celebrated and internationally recognized Indian artists of the 20th century, he also received recognition as a printmaker, photographer, and filmmaker. May he RIP.

Book Review || The Fountainhead

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

After finding a considerable number of reviews and praises for this book, I gave it a shot.

Honestly, neither I completely agree nor I deny with the Ayn philosophy. Although, the book has been a classic for a long time and I am pretty sure, it’ll always be intimidating for the times to come yet I partly don’t get along with the characters. The four main characters in the book are not the best, if considered individually. They all have their weak points complementing their strong points. The central character, Howard Roark,( I kept picturing Aamir Khan playing this role in my mind) : An individualist, who doesn’t believe in sharing thoughts, ideas and thinks creativity is best when it’s done individually. He is a disciplined fellow, an atheist with no religion and he does not feel pain or sorrow but considers them “merely a part of the battle”. He struggles a lot to make it big in architecture on his own but he flatters none. He loves architecture and strictly follows his own protocols, like for instance when asked how important is a client to him, he says,” I don’t intend to build in order to serve or help anyone. I don’t intend to build in order to have clients. I intend to have clients in order to build”. I found the character Dominique, Howard’s love interest, pretty preposterous; I would never want my love to suffer and I won’t let myself suffer just because my love is suffering, even if I have planned something bigger for “us”. Love means no Suffering. You are happy if your better half is happy, even if he’s so without you. Also, I do agree that creativity differs from person to person but an individualist approach is not always the best approach. Say if I have an idea, you have an idea and we both exchange, we’ll end up with two ideas. None of us are perfect; suggestions by others can help us get better, moreover whether we take the suggestions or not depend on us. Anyways, that’s my opinion, it may differ from others.

What I did like about the book is that, people who are straight forward are no doubt hated in this world. I’ve some friends who are very to the point and are always hated for being so. But the book encourages one not to lick feet just for some advantage that doesn’t even last for long. Also, the book quite vividly shows that a society is filled with all kinds of souls, good and bad and the middlemen who take the advantage. Not only this, it shows that Change is inevitable. A person is elected as something only to be replaced by someone else tomorrow. No one enjoys the prestige forever. It’s a part of life. Ayn Rand depicts how childhood plays an important role for creating the present man. The book is extremely profound and it’ll melt your heart and mind if you read it with some genuine interest. Ayn Rand creates a beautiful city with a number of characters, a number of edifices, each having a unique identity. I loved all the Toohey speeches and the last one by Roark. It’s a very long read but you’ll enjoy the ride.

Definitely, it’s a CLASSIC!

Book Review: ILLUSIONS, The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

A MUST read, a short, precise and mystical one but very thought-provoking. The book is interesting from the very beginning if you like spiritual, philosophical reads. The story catches on with the introduction of Donald Shimoda, the messiah, the master known for his miracles who quits being a messiah to be a mechanic and a pilot who gives people rides from one farm to another for just $3. The protagonist, Richard (author of the book, Richard Bach) who also happens to be a mechanic and flies people, meets this Messiah and urges to know how to become a master. Shimoda quite interestingly answers all his queries and makes him realize that this whole world is nothing but “Illusions” and we are happy and unhappy just because we want to be so, that the earth is solid and the water is liquid because we want it to be so. If we truly believe in something it is bound to happen in an inexplicable way whether it is possible in worldly terms or not, as everything in this world is a mirage, a false set up and we can conjure anything if we want to. Richard then finds a book previously owned by Shimoda, a saviour’s manual to become the messiah and I am pretty sure you would love each and every line quoted from the manual whether you believe in God or not. Donald tells Richard that each one of us is son of God and we are not different from each other and we all are messiah if we want. The story ends with the death of Shimoda but the ending itself is the starting of the book “Illusions”.

Quoting few lines from the manual:
There is no such thing as a problem

without a gift for you in its hands.

You seek problems because you need their gifts.


A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a

direction and at such a speed, It feels an impulsion...

this is the place to go now.

But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns

behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when

you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.


Don’t be dismayed at good-byes.

A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.

And meeting again, after moments or

lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world,

the master calls a butterfly.

The messiah says, “We are all. Free. To do.Whatever.We want. To do”

Book review: Love story by Erich Segal

Two things amazed me when I started with this novel. Firstly the book was so thin (only 76 pages – e-book!), a fast and an avid reader would finish it in less than 2hours, and secondly the starting, in fact the first sentence itself gave away the ending of the book, “What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died?”
Still there is something that makes go ahead and read, and when you are done with the book, it makes you believe that Love exists, Love is true and it’s so beautiful, simple and so selfless, it is much more than mere physical attraction and lust. The story is no different than any other love story, two college mates date and fall in love, go against the odds and get married, face the life’s challenges together and sail through the turbulent times, but just as they finally solve every puzzle, a bigger puzzle called as “Death” appears. It’s uncanny how the writing makes you feel the “pain” and the “love” simultaneously. A short and lively read, but efficacious indeed. If you have read Nicholas Sparks novels (a walk to remember, the last song, the notebook etc) before, this one may sound a cliché but do give it a shot.

 
A beautiful line from the book, “'Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.'”